Affections of the Heart

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul longs for you, my God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?

Psalm 42:1-2 (NIV)

Time and time again, I am reminded of the depth of my capacity to love and to form attachments to others. I believe this is both a gift from God as well as a point of vulnerability for me. I am drawn to kindred spirits, people who hunger for intimacy, thrive on understanding matters of the heart, and desire to live as faithful lovers of Jesus. Like any craving, it seems that the more I relate deeply with these friends of God, the more the longing increases! Having the constant capability to connect and communicate through technology and various forms of social media feeds my hunger!


Recently, I've been led to pray the prayer that Misty Edwards sings in "Fling Wide". For several days now, I've awakened each morning to "test me, try me, prove me, refine me..." pouring through my heart. The first time I heard this song in the house of prayer, I hesitated to sing the lyrics. I really wasn't so sure that I wanted to invite a holy God to carry out an invasive deep cleaning of my life! This refiner's fire is necessary and inevitable! Now, I am yielding my will to the Holy Spirit - still with some hesitation, but eagerly trusting in the goodness of God to complete this work! I am asking for the light of Christ to shine in the dark corners of my life.


Yesterday, the Holy Spirit gently reminded me that I need more solitude. I know it's true! I want to hang out in the Presence of God, hear the things that He has to say to me personally, to rest and wait on God. I was eager to pass this message along to others, "abide in Him", "be still and know", "come away". While I was being instructed, I passed this word along to others as I passed up the opportunity to sit at the feet of Jesus. My longing to connect and communicate with other friends of God overshadowed my longing for God himself!

Jesus, I give you the affections of my heart.

I ask you to to keep getting my attention when I am distracted.

Thank you for the good gifts of friendship, communication, and technology.

Help me to keep my gaze fixed on You as I enjoy these good things.

Draw me away from the interactions with others and into greater intimacy with you.

Only you can satisfy the deep longings of my heart!

Amen.